If I had known the last time you nursed would be the last time,
I would have allowed your warm sweet body to stay curled up with mine a little bit longer, our hearts beating in rhythm and the feeling of your warm breath and the soft movements of your mouth lulling me into a blessed contentment.
If I had known…
If I had know that Saturday night would be the last time I would see this
and Sunday morning the last time that I would walk into your room and have you reach up to me with a sleepy smile and drowsy eyes.
I might not have been quite so quick to put your big boy vroom vroom bed in your room for a test drive.
If I had only known.
Because I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for this
When did you become a little boy? When did you become so grown up that a story at bedtime, a kiss and a hug and then you were ready to sleep through the night in your big boy bed?
You were so proud of yourself.
You woke up in the morning put on your big boy boots and clomped out into the hallway, completely oblivious to the fact that you were stomping on my heart with those precious little boots.
You were so adorable with your puffed out chest, strutting around saying, “I big boy, I vroom vroom bed, I big boy”
My heart swelled with pride at your joy and your accomplishment, yet a little piece crumbled into dust and blew away with a sigh.
My baby. Is no longer a baby.
With a swelling vocabulary, growing confidence and independence, you’re shedding your infancy, rushing through toddlerhood and hurtling headlong as fast as you can into big boydom.
If I had only known.
2 nights people. 2 nights now he has gotten a story and a kiss, turned over in bed and gone to sleep and slept through the night. Yes, it’s a blessing, but part of me wanted him to not do it. Part of me, needs him back in his crib.
It’s bittersweet, isn’t it, to watch our “babies” grow up!
Wait until you actually get RID of the crib. Sniff. No…don’t think about that right now!
Jamie’s latest brilianceYear In Review, Now With More Poo
Oh Rachel – I shed a tear for you. This is beautifully written! And I completely get what you’re going through. It’s especially hard with my Bear, who looks more little kid and less big baby every day.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s latest brilianceResolved
So bittersweet! You want them to do these things but it’s so hard.
Just think there are bigger and better things to come
The bed is so cute btw and still more little boy than truly BIG boy
Lisa@verybusymomwith4’s latest brilianceFor Dante
Awwww … what a sweet (and slightly sad) post! I remember the day when I transitioned Princess D into her toddler bed. It happens so quickly. You have to savor every moment and not rush them if they don’t want to be rushed. In so many ways he will always be you little guy!
Awwww!! What a sweet post. He’s adorable in his big boy bed. Congrats on your baby growing up, even though it’s bittersweet.
Rhea’s latest brilianceRee, the Pioneer Woman
Hi Rachel. I’m new here.
this post is great, and kind of made me cry. I now feel the need to pay close attention EVERY TIME my son nurses, in case it’s the last one (which could be any day). Not sure if that will be a good thing, or exhausting. So, um…. thanks.
Erin G’s latest brilianceFirst Big Boy Shoes
Awww. You’re making me tear. I know exactly how hard it is. And, my big boy acted the same way. I even offered to sleep with him (he’s got a queen), but he wanted nothing to do with me.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s latest brilianceTaking a Toke off the Pot
Oh, sweet Monkey. He’s growing up way too fast!
But, he sure is a handsome little growing up fast boy!
Krystyn’s latest brilianceThe colic cure
Awww… mom this is a good thing. I can remember those days… now I have to contend with my biggest baby moving into her own apartment. I really wasn’t ready for that.
I love that last photo!
Tara R.’s latest brilianceHe looks just like… who?
I understand all too well. Very sweet post, dear friend!
Malia’s latest brilianceNot Ready
I am crying over here.. crying!!!!! I am not ready for that. How do they grow so fast? The pictures are too sweet Rachel..
Kim’s latest brilianceMirror Mirror I need a favor
awwww, sweetie. it’s so hard to watch them grow up.
but yet … that’s our goal for them, isn’t it? to be big and independent and self-sufficient …
and that’s why mommies cry.
the planet of janet’s latest brilianceI hear the quadriceps singing
Honey you made me cry. I could have written this. I miss these things, and everything is getting harder as my baby,my youngest, my last one, keeps hitting milestones. I feel like I didn’t soak it all up, that I didn’t appreciate all the little things and moments and now it is gone and I can’t get it back. Damn it is so sad.
I feel ya! XOXOXOXO
Kaytabug’s latest brilianceMacro Monday
Pssst…
Tell him to stop growing so fast, will ya? He looks SO big in his big boy bed.
OHmommy’s latest brilianceThis time around, the playgroup is for the kid…
I am so with you. My Little Man is growing so fast! It’s breaking my heart:( Sniff…
Nap Warden’s latest brilianceGetaway, Run Report
Oh God. I am totally crying right now. Our son’s Grandma bought him a big boy bed for Christmas. It’s going to be here in the next couple of days. I’m SCARED!
Rachael’s latest brilianceHeads or Tails: 3 Things I Learned in 2008
hey rachel! thanks for stopping by. too funny that your hubby’s name is nathan, and that I call MY little nathan ‘monkey’ like your son!
small world.
Erin G’s latest brilianceCutest. Feet. Ever.
there is nothing more bittersweet than when the baby of the house…isn’t such a baby anymore!! mine just turned 5!
he is so cute!!
Damn these kids! Could they just slow down!!
amy’s latest brilianceSee, I’m still a kid
so sad… such a tender and heart breaking transition.
misty’s latest brilianceOn Tuesday…
It’s so bittersweet. I think we should get a pass to relive one little snippet of each kids’ baby-hood.
dysfunctional mom’s latest brilianceDogwood Blooms
Noooooo!!!!!!!
We are going today to get the Lil Princess a bed…now my heart breaks even more…I dont want to do it!!!!
Gosh-that was so well written-my heart dropped.
But I have put it off long enough.
So be looking for my post too…soon….maybe.
Spoiled Mommy’s latest brilianceLil Princess bakes!
Awww. I remember this with my son, too. Very bittersweet.
Ashlie- Mommycosm’s latest brilianceEASY Chili Recipe
OMG….I’m more upset than I was when MY kids went into big boy beds.
I can’t believe how big the Monkey is getting!
Love to you my friend
Qweenie’s latest brilianceI need a tissue, I have daddy issues…..
Oh, I am SO exactly right there with ya! Except my little guy (not even 2!) has been sleeping in his big boy bed (bottom bunk) for a month now. And he’s so proud of it he climbs up during the day, almost to stake his claim on his territory, but part of me is sad that there are no more late-night rockings, no more arms held up to be lifted from his crib…*le sigh*…
I am in awe. And jealous. Can I borrow that cage . . . er . . . crib and tent? Maybe if I trap mine she’ll stay in her bed.
They grow up way too fast . . .
Burgh Baby’s latest brilianceLots of Sighing Going On Around Here
That was the sweetest post
I have been thinking about weaning Alivia as she will be 15 months old tomorrow. She is not ready to stop nursing and now after reading this I am not sure I am.
Ashley @ mrs007.com’s latest brilianceWii hazards
Aw, now I am all weepy. Sigh.
Angella’s latest brilianceOn Faith
As a dad, it must be different. I get so excited for my kids as the move to the next step. I’m so proud, but I never catch myself looking back. I keep my eyes looking forward to the next big step. I so much want them to grow up and become the strong, confident, successful women.
There’s also way cooler things still to come. My nine year old and I go to Major League Baseball games together. So COOL! She’s even sharing Dad’s love of roller coasters now. When they were little I had to just bite my lip and walk past. Now, I just look at mom and then to her and ask “You wanna go for a ride?”
Enjoy these times. It only gets better.
oh man now you made me cry!
Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!’s latest brilianceA Humiliating Movement. I Mean Moment.
What a big boy! And a lucky mom! May you have many more easy nights of him sleeping in his vroom vroom bed.
Chelsea/PB&J In A Bowl’s latest briliance
Oh, Rachel – this was such a beautfiully written sentiment about your darling boy! He’s a cutie!!
Take care – Kellan
Kellan’s latest brilianceI’m Going To Be Hard To Live With
Oh this made my heart patter. We’re about to enter this phase and I’m NOT READY. He is SUCH a cutie and I dig his wheels!!
MamaGeek’s latest brilianceOh, Come On. View My Uterus.
I love the way you wrote this. I was just thinking the same thing about my youngest. Her hair has just gotten long enough for pigtails and suddenly, she doesn’t look like a baby anymore. She’s become a toddler in the blink of an eye!
Michelle@Life with Three’s latest brilianceThe Green Beauty Guide
Yep. It goes so quickly. You sometimes long for the day when they can do those milestones, yet when they happen, you miss the times before.
Great post. My mom’s always talking like that about when I grew up and now that my baby sister’s almost off to college, I’m afraid the laments will only get louder.
However, it is nice to hear the love from the other side of the equation.
Tattie Bogle’s latest brilianceTattie_Bogle: After reading a great psychic/supernatural blog, I’m lamenting the fact I’m not more astrally attuned. Damn genetics!
OH NO NO no no. NO. You’re going to make *me* cry.
I’m not ready for this either. Please make it stop, please? I just snuggled my little man by his crib, kissed him, whispered I love you and he whispered “iyuyu”. I can’t have him speaking in full sentences with a big bed.
Nonono
(Also, we loved that tent with LB. Little climbing stinker!)
XO
Mrs. Flinger’s latest brilianceMemories
OHMYGOD! WAIT! You’re going to blissdom! WHAT?!?!?!?! YEYEYEY. I was JUST thinking to myself, “I need to find a way to get Rachael there…”
YEYEYEY! Oh, you’re forgiven for making me cry.
Mrs. Flinger’s latest brilianceMemories
I am jealous! My son STILL won’t get out of bed and clomp into the hallway, and he’ll be seven in May. We couldn’t even get him out of bed on Christmas Day!!
Oh how true, how true. Since he could talk, my son would awake each weekend morning with “knock knock dada!” which was my cue to go in his room and take him out of his crib. He did this even after he was old enough to get out of bed himself and shower. He did this as a first grader, even though he didn’t need me to get him out of bed. All the way until a few months ago. Now he just wakes up, turns on his computer and plays games. I’m praying he forgets one day and says it again. Even just once.
BusyDad’s latest brilianceUrrrgh…
My heart breaks just reading this…I know my little girl isn’t far behind.
Kate’s latest brilianceO Cookie! My Cookie!
oh! this is so heartbreaking.
I get sad when I think about things like the crib to big bed. And then I think that tomorrow they’ll be graduating high school and I’ll be wishing for the day that they were moving to big boy beds…
It all goes too fast. Too fast…
Danielle’s latest brilianceAnd… She’s One
*deep sigh*
Sooooo sweet.
Rhett still takes naps in his crib with tent by his request, but he is in the big bed with brothers at night.
I love that he still asks to be zipped in during naptime.
But I know it won’t be much longer…
*sob*
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana’s latest brilianceIt is a given
Awwww ….
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Why do they have to keep GROWING? It’s so tragic. And exciting.
I think they break your hear a little every day so that when they go off to college you don’t completely fall apart. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway!
Tranny Head’s latest brilianceThe Kind of Bar Where You Can’t Get Drunk
Connor’s been out of the crib for a year now and I STILL can’t quite get used to the fact that he’s sleeping in a big boy bed. LOL He’s never been all that cooperative about bedtime though. EVER. “I NOT SWEEPY MAMA!!”
Awww…it does get easier, but it is still very emotional! I just had to drop this book recommendation here because it really is appropriate for your “last time” to see that crib.
I got Karen Kingsbury’s, “Let Me Hold You Longer” and it is such a sweet story of celebrating all the lasts not just the “firsts” for our babies. That would be a great book to read to your little man each night as he independently goes to sleep.
Andrea @ MommySnacks.net’s latest brilianceSoul Snack: Then Sings My Soul Saturday
Get out of my head! I’m going through the same thing with my sweet baby girl right now. I swear, I could have written this myself and I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
Bren’s latest brilianceGit – R- Done
My son just moved to a big boy bed and I was so happy and so sad at the same time.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children’s latest brilianceIgnore the cackling of my 2008 book list
Oh my…made me well up. I was working 60 hours a week, 7 days a week at a job I hated when my youngest (now 3) stopped nursing and became a big boy. He was only a little over a year old and the only time I could snuggle/nurse him was right before work and late at night when I got home. The last morning it was quick, I had to run out the door, didn’t want my awful boss to be upset if I wasn’t early…came home that night, and he didn’t want to nurse. I wish I would have known that last morning was it. ugh….but, it is still an experience that is so wonderful and sadly many never know….so I will look at the bright side (through my teary eyes). Thanks so much for the lovely post.
Mary Beth’s latest brilianceNo Sew Window Valances
I have been a single working mother for most of my daughters 11 yrs on earth. I longed to be at home with her, baking cookies and playing outside after school.last year i quit work to be a stay at home mother and help my husband with his small business.. It was then I realized, she really didnt need me to stay-at-home!! I think I need a NEW reason to stay at home…Just not sure I am ready to be a MOM all over again!! Where does the time go??