So tonight I was ironing Nate’s clothes.
Did you just pick yourself up off the floor? Because, ya, if you know anything about me, you know I DON’T iron. But, I love my hubby and I have a new Mac and a new iphone and stargazer lilies. So pick your jaw up off the floor, quit laughing and help me.
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Princess looks at me and says: “Why did the chicken cross the road”
Me: “what?”
Princess: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Because I am a total FAIL, I say: “To get to the other side”
She giggles: “NO. Because he wanted to”
Y’all. My kid fell on the floor giggling at herself.
Then, she turned the tables on me and the best I could come up with was, (and I am actually mortified at this so SHUT UP and help me):
Me: ” What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?”
*I know*
Her: ” I don’t know Mom, what”
Me: ” I think you’re Boo-tiful”
da-da-da-dum * I know, I know* {hanging head in shame}
Princess, giggled hysterically and then prodded me for more and y’all, I’m blank.
I am on my knees. PLEASE help me. I know that y’all have been here before. Y’all see that pathetic excuse for a joke up there, HALP me!!! I am a total FAILmom right now.
Please, share your cheesiest, silliest, goofiest jokes. I need them. My 5 year old is hounding and my momnesia is looming.
Please don’t let me be a total failure here. HELP!!!!
Why do they keep gates around cemetery’s?
People are dying to get in!
bwahaha
Sarah’s latest brilianceNever-ending work drama
The only jokes I know are totally inappropriate for a 5 yo!
Sammanthia’s latest briliance*Insert Catchy Title Here*
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don’t cry, its just a knock knock joke.
~My kids love that one!
Rhen @yestheyareallmine’s latest briliancePregnancy #7- Week 29
knock knock
who’s there?
banana
banana who
knock knock
who’s there?
banana
banana who
knock knock
who’s there?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didn’t say banana???
Sorry hon but that is all I have!
What does the sunrise and bread have in common?
One rises in the east the other rises with yeast.
I don’t get it but a local 6 yo thought it was hysterical.
moosh in indy.’s latest briliancePrenatal Vitamins. WHAT THE?
What did the rug say to the floor?
“Don’t move, I’ve got you covered.”
Did you hear about the peanuts who walked down a dark alley?
One was a salted.
So I asked my 5yo, Beaux, for you.
Me: “Dude, do you know any jokes?”
Him: “YEAH! Knock, Knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Him: “A frog on a motorcycle.”
Me: “Okay, a frog on a motorcycle who?”
Him: “Um, mom. That’s all I got.”
Definitely get their sense of humor from their father, sorry!
Amo’s latest brilianceI Can Haz A Clean House Plz?!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little Boogie in it!!
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub, I’m drowning!
(That’s my husband’s favorite).
ORRRRRR.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold outside.
And I’m partial to the impatient cow (which is the same basically as the interuppting cow) joke.
Sarah’s latest brilianceThursday Ten: Things I Learned at BlissDom Edition
Why did the dog stay under the tree?
He didn’t want to be a hot dog!
(my kids say that one over and over again)
Buy some Laffy Taffy and read the jokes. Kids love them. They are so stupid.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Who?
Who, Who?
Is there an owl around here?
HEre is a website: http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jokes.amusing.humor.laughs/Kids/knock001.htm
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING’s latest brilianceWhat about you?
Rachel, go to the library and check out some joke or riddle books. My students used to read jokes to me from these books by the dozens. Sadly I can’t remember a single joke. Love you.
My 3-year-old comes up with some real doozies like knock, knock. Who’s there? Flower. Flower who? Flower smell good.
She cracks herself up even if she’s the only one laughing.
Here’s one that’s pretty good:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel.
(hardy, har, har!)
Shelley’s latest brilianceRecipe R&R – Tested ,Tried and True’s Honey Glazed Carrots
Oh good Lord. I am so bad at this.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo, who?
Aww, don’t cry. It’s be okay.
Bah, dum, dum!
Kat’s latest brilianceBunch Of Sickos
Sorry, that’s…
It’ll be okay.
Dur
Kat’s latest brilianceBunch Of Sickos
I’m pretty sure that you got some much better ones than I could come up with. I’ll have to come back when I need them.
Krystyn’s latest briliancePSF-The mulitpurpose chair
A third grader told me this one this week at school…
What does a tree in the woods say when it gets cold???
Shiver me timbers!!!
What does a duck put in his soup?
Quackers!
HA!
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s latest brilianceBlissdom 09: Nashville Shopping
I have NOTHING. Does that make me an EPIC fail?
Angella’s latest brilianceMad At Dad?
The only jokes I know are inappropriate! What the heck! Must study kid jokes ASAP: http://www.lotsofjokes.com/kids_jokes.asp (almost too cute for words).
Q. What button won’t you find in a tailor’s shop?
A. A Belly button!
Q. How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch!
Q. What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A. A minnie van!
Heather’s latest brilianceIt’s Aloha Friday, Ya’ll!
Why did six run away from seven?
Because seven ate nine…..!!!!
(That’s the only joke I can ever remember!!)
Danielle’s latest brilianceGrace in Small Things: 7 of 365 Weekend Edition
OMG I don’t know any. I’m the worst.
noble pig’s latest brilianceReally? Already?
This isn’t officially a joke, but I got super tickled this week when we were discussing which animals had spines and which didn’t, and my 12yod said, “When I kissed a frog…” I don’t remember anything beyond that, because we all cracked up! Her nickname is Princess…
As to the lack of ironing, my dad told my husband that my stepmother irons everything, to which my husband commented that I iron nothing. I replied, “But I Photoshop everything!” I think that probably isn’t as impressive at work as nicely ironed clothes.
Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home’s latest brilianceHeads Up! Frames and Readers
Why did the little boy turn red when he opened the refrigerator door?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
Ronda’s Rants’s latest brilianceWhat’s NOT in My Wallet!!!
I asked my child to please go pick up their room today…and they said No that’s not possible I asked why..they told me the room is to heavy…
Nice blog and thanks for your comment too…..Beth
Beth Rosen’s latest brilianceAnother nincompoop blogger moment!
1: “Knock-Knock”
2: “Who’s there?”
1: “The Interrupting Cow.”
2: “The Interrupting C-”
1: “MOO!”
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: The chicken was on vacation. (dumbest. joke. ever.)
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
I know exactly what you mean. It’s for this exact reason that I created Jokes Sunday. I couldn’t remember of any jokes to tell my son so I forced myself to create a weekly Sunday Joke Post to share with kids.
http://conversationswithmoms.com/category/sunday-quality-time/jokes-sunday-quality-time/
Maria M’s latest brilianceSmall Talk Six Saturday – 6 Most Romantic or UnRomantic Things that ever Happened to Me
Dude – that’s SO not a parenting fail. I would have been the parenting fail parent because I would have been unable to come up with a single one on the spot.
Why was 8 mad at 7? Because 7 ate 9!
trannyhead’s latest brilianceA Valentine’s Day Memory from Middle School
I can never remember the punch lines anyway. That is the moment when I go, “Hey want to learn a new song?” I have one of those voices that get dogs to howling and cats to hissing. He rolls with laughter because I am so “silly”. Glad to be the joke son. Anything for you.
Laurel Plum’s latest brilianceThe 80/20 Rule
Where do cows go for fun?
The MOOOOOvies!