Redneck Mommy, Redhead Mommy… Whatever

I have been blogging for a hair over a year, it’s a thick, coarse, auburn colored hair, but it’s a hair none-the-less.  The only blog that I have ever stumbled across and then devoured from start to finish is hers.  Tanis is amazing.  She has slogged through hell, danced on cloud nine and been plummeted back down to the depths of despair again and again, and yet with humor, wit and long winded eloquence, she has taken us on her journey side by side with her.  I laughed out loud, I gasped, I sobbed and tiny bits of my heart broke away while reading her.  I welled up with horror, anger and sadness… I rose up on clouds of joy and felt laughter bubble up and escape from my mouth in joyous bursts, while reading her.  She tugged at my heartstrings, coaxed laughter from my throat and pulled tears from my eyes.  For all these reasons and more, you should read her. For all those reasons and more, I love her.

The most recent reason that you should read her… the amazing BlissDom attendee who groped, licked and grabbed her way through other BlissDom attendees, it is because she is now the proud Redneck Mommy to a new beautiful 5 year old boy and the wench didn’t gain an ounce in weight, just a heart full of love and a lifetime of bliss and really, can you put a price or a weight on that?

So there’s a Redneck Mommy Shower going on for her right now and there are some trashtastic prizes, one of which is {hand to heart} a wooden duh-ildo.

I have no trashtastic Redneck Mommy pic like her and I’m not a stupendously awesome published pearl wearing, boot kicking White Trash Chick like her but, I do come from a long line of Kentucky/Texas proud Redneck peeps. So let me share my Redneck Mommy moments here.
All in honor of Tanis, the original Redneck Mommy.

  • The song states: ‘barefoot in my own front yard with a baby on my hip’ been there, done that. Barefoot, tank top, shorts, diaper clad baby and a longneck in my hand in my own front yard. Can I get a ‘Hell Yeah?’
  • Taking my 14 month old to a family birthday where homemade moonshine is not only shared, but spilled and then eats through the floor. ‘Can I get a ‘Hell Yeah?’
  • Walking through the grocery store the 2 yr old sees Miller Lite and says ‘Bee-ah, Daddy’ ‘Hell Yeah’
  • I buy camo flip flops, and I’m proud of them. ‘Hell Yeah’
  • I can cook Venison twenty seven (plus) different ways and my kids have teethed on deer jerky. ‘Hell Yeah’
  • My daughter has seen and helped dress a deer in the front yard. ‘Hell Yeah’
  • and most importantly of all…
  • I know all the words to Redneck Woman (and relate), can sing Redneck Mother, verbatim and met my husband in a redneck bar.

Tanis, you are an inspiration and the world is a better place for having you in it. Bless you, you darling darling woman.

*and yes, my grammar and punctuation is abysmal in this, but I wrote from my heart, and I refuse to edit it.*

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Comments

  1. Lori says

    Thanks for checking out my site. I thought I’d check yours out, and I was pleased to see that you write very well! I enjoyed your diction. But I thought you’d want to know that your link to redneckmommy needs to be edited; you put an “e” after red, so it took me a little while to find her site. I can’t ever turn off my “editor’s eye.” You’ve got a great site.

  2. says

    WOW yer just a lil’ bit south-er than me as I am in MO. Actually before I came across Tanis I, too, thought that a “redneck” was just an American thing. I think around here we call it hoosier, but some would of us would just say normal.

    How ’bout this: 2 yo wakes yer hungover ass up at 5 am saying “here’s a bee-ya fer you mommeee!” Barf. That was years ago. My kids are teens now and I am usually capable of getting my own morning beers when I wake up. LOL

    Ok, FTR, I am a professional mommy and I like to joke :) Srsly. Please don’t call DFS on us

    How funny, and what a great opportunity to celebrate. yay yay and double yay

  3. Kel says

    Hell Yeah! ;) Tanis is great and being part redneck/woman/mommy is something we can all be proud of..hehe..but just for the record – growing up in Texas – I was taught that dressing and cooking a deer was essential to being a woman! Fast Forward to adulthood and I learn I am a TX redneck in a class of my own, oh well!
    ~K

  4. Laurel Plum says

    I knew I was drawn to you for some other reason than your cooking and kid loving! I will give you a ‘Hell Yeah”!

    We seriously did use jerky for teething quite a bit – home made right in our kitchen no less. To this day every time the boy asks for a slim jim, I feel a twinge of Parent Fail. If it was a joke, do NOT tell me. Let me wear the relief hat in ignorant bliss!

    Now headed to Redneck Mommy!

    Laurel Plum’s latest brilianceWhat is Clutter?

  5. Lisa Boyd says

    Ok, I am officially in love with you now :) I wish I could embrace more of my redneckedness, but alas, I don’t know how to cook — much less cook deer upteenmillion different ways.

    Would so totally like to come crash at your house some time. Geez, looks like I need to get on my Harley and make a few road trips :D You, Robin, A Cowboy’s Wife, Amber, the list continues to grow!

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