Do you ever have one of those days?
You can actually hear the wolf at the door, the click clack of the claws as it edges ever closer, the dank heavy heat of it’s breath as it waits for just the right moment to pounce?
That moment when everything catches up with you and you realize that you’re at the bottom of a hole and your ladder doesn’t reach?
You can actually feel the blackness pulling at your edges like quicksand?
It’s been one of those days around here and I’ve been fighting to keep a smile on my face and not bite the kids’ heads off. Where the urge to crawl into bed, hide from the world, turn off the phone, lock the door and just disappear is almost stronger than the desire to keep going?

I came close today, very close to teetering off the edge of my own strength and giving in to the call of the bed with it’s soft warm comforter and the cool blackness of the room.

And then I picked up Princess from VBS and she bounced into my arms and said:

“Mommy, I told my teacher you were the most talented mommy ever because you made my bow for me and you love me and it’s beautiful. And she said that you love me very much and I’m a lucky little girl and I wanna be just like you when I’m a mommy”

And a ray of sunshine broke through the clouds and then Monkey chimed in:

“Yes, my Princess (insert her real name)  my Momma is awesome.  Mom, can we have cake?  I love you because you’re a big mommy and I’m gonna gwow and be big and stwong one day, too.  Just. like. you”

And just like that, the swirling edges of darkness were chased away by two small but brilliantly vivid rainbows.

They, are why I Do.