“DAD, Mom broke her vagina!”
I am not graceful, but I’m not normally a klutz either. However, yesterday I walked into the laundry room, slipped on a teeny tiny little toddler sock and with all the grace of a drunk elephant landed on my right knee and then somehow fell spread eagle across the rim of a large hard plastic laundry basket.
Holy Hells Bells and Shooting Stars. My eyes crossed and y’all I saw fireworks.
I hereby formally apologize to every man in the world for every single time I laughed when you got racked. You now have my sincerest empathy.
I might possibly have let loose with a tiny expletive or two.
With tears threatening to spill out of my eyes, I dislodged myself from the laundry basket and tried to decide which needed attention first, my aching knee, my throbbing (not in a good way) ‘girl junk’ or the crying freaked out Monkey cowering in the corner of the kitchen.
Since I’m a mom, y’all know Monkey won. I hobbled over there and hugged him. While I was calming him down Princess walked in took one look at my flushed face and asked: “Mom, what happened”
I told her.
She looked at me with those huge blue eyes and said with what can only be described as awe in her voice: “Mom, did you break your vagina?”
Me: “No honey, but I think I may have bruised it.”
Her: “Ok. Can I go next door and play?”
Gotta love that kid’s concern.
Nathan after hearing Princess’ exclamation looked at me for an explanation.
After I explained it to him he looked at me with concern on his face and asked me: “So does this mean sex is out of the question tonight?”
I am thinking about returning his testicles to him sometime next year.
So, as a warning to all Vagina having bloggers, beware… First, Jennifer’s Girl Junk and now mine. You could be next. I’m just sayin’.