I love reading other’s Google Searches. In fact just now on Plurk, the superb BurghBaby just found out that she was linked to from a search for Michael Phelps’ Buttcrack.
Well, praise the lord and pass the ammunition. Alrighty then.
So I broke down and went to my Analytics page and took a peek. I then proceeded to snort Miller Lite through my nose.
Really, this is how you’re finding me? Please, oh please leave a comment. Oh mah holy hell y’all Google some great stuff.
1. Aggie Pickles. Exactly what is an Aggie Pickle? When I’m in Aggieland I eat my fried pickles at Wings’n’More. Yum. Let me know when you find that Aggie Pickle, K?
2. Wrecked Vagina. I have no words. You have my sympathy.
3. Vagina Car. Um…
4. Dressed Beer. Pardon me while I assume teacher/bartender mode: A dressed beer: The neck is rolled in salt prior to opening and then a lime slice is placed gently in the mouth of the beer before handing it to the patron.
5. Pencil Eraser Nipples: If you have ever breastfed, I need not say more. If you have not… Your nipples resemble those kindergarten pencil erasers after your
life sucker precious angel gets done gnawing nursing.
6. Canadian Geese Attack: Are Canadian Geese especially violent? We know that Texas Geese attack, don’t we.
This concludes the first ever edition of Search Me. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Now, let’s move on to why I am officially in the running for worst mom ever.
For the last few days Monkey has been walking around the house, touching his ear and saying, “ear”. I thought he was showing off.
I would respond in all my shining brilliance with: “Yes Honey, that is your ear. Good Job”
Strike me down now.
This continued for 3 days.
Bright mom that I am I began to get concerned, especially when I started to remember that he has been covering his ears and wincing whenever something was loud.
Fast Forward to 3:00 PM today.
The pediatrician looks at his ears, looks at me, looks in his ears, looks at me.
Raises his eyebrows and says, I kid you not. “Rachel, this is serious. His ears do not look good. He has a serious double ear infection.”
Cue me under the table flogging myself
After one doughnut, one lollipop, one thing of popcorn chicken and 1 1/2 hours in Wally Martinez , we had his Augmentin and Motrin.
By 6:30 he was
drugged medicated and in bed asleep.
Yes, I feel horrible. But thanks to my fabulous Plurkville buddies, I realize I am not alone. But still, just give me my tin crown and pipe cleaner scepter and I’ll take my place on the porcelain throne as worst most oblivious mom ever.