Such a cute little face, right? That cute face, is his biggest weapon of mass deception.
He, is a devious toddler genius.
Our latest escapade:
Monkey: “Mom, I be right back. You stay here”
This is said to me as he’s pushing a chair across the house into the foyer.
Me: “Monkey, what are you doing?”
Monkey: “Mom, I okay, you stay right there. I be right back” (did your parent radar just ping? Because mine did)
I don’t hear anything for a few minutes and then I see him slowly and with admirable stealth, creeping towards the laundry room door that leads to our garage.
Sudden stillness, I can hear the wheels turning in his 2 yr old mind..”if I don’t move… she can’t see me”
Me: “Monkey, what are you doing”
He slowly turns and I see what’s cupped in his chubby little fist, it’s the key to this:
That would be Daddy’s motorcycle, or ‘vroom vroom’ as Monkey calls it.
Me: “Monkey, what are you doing with that key”
SWOOSH! The key disappears behind his back and he starts inching towards the door.
I get out of my chair and he screams and runs towards the door, clutching that key to his chest, “I ride Daddy’s vroom vroom!!! I big boy, I ride the motorcycle”
I got the key away from him, earned a glare from tear filled eyes, and a mournful wail as his dreams of escape were dashed to the ground. I’m pretty sure that in the secret Toddler underground, I’m known as “worstest mom, ever” and you know what? I have the coozie to prove it
The lesson learned? When Monkey says “I be right back” Nothing good is going to follow and I should never turn my back on him, ever.