Moon Jelly and Mayonnaise

This is not a post about food, although it does sound like it could be. No.. this is about the little beast in the picture right there.
Meet Moon Jelly

Princess decided she wanted to go to the beach, Nathan was off work, it was 90 degrees outside, sounds ideal right?
Yep, it was.. until two of those moon jellies wrapped their horrid poisoned tentacles around her upper thighs and rear end. Screaming commenced. Now, if you don’t know about jellyfish, we are quite familiar with them here, let me teach you a few things: Meat tenderizer, baking soda paste, vinegar or urine. All of these will alleviate the stinging. You can also take a couple of aspirins or other anti-inflammatory to help with the pain and swelling. Now for the EEEEWWWWWWW factor Men’s urine is preferable because the ‘route’ through which it comes is more sterile than a female’s. Yes people, that means someone needs to pee on you. You’ve all seen that ‘Friends’ episode.
There, you learned something today.
I would have shared pictures but considering where the stings are located, I’m not really comfortable posting pictures of it. I used to carry a ‘jelly kit’ in my car, bought new car… forgot new kit. Damn. Nobody pee’d on her either. She was not having it. So she toughed it out, I gave her a juice box, we took her to Blackbeard’s a Pirate themed restaurant and then out for ice cream. My kid, is a rock star. She still has bubbles and welts, but she’s much better now. Thanks for asking.
Now let’s talk Mayonnaise.
You all know Monkey climbs.. thus the name. Well, he’s also an accomplished escape artist. Those crappy worthless dilapidated carts at Wal-Mart have nothing on my kid. We were going down the aisle to get mayonnaise and I walked away from the cart (shut up. Yes, I know.. rookie mistake) I am maybe 3 feet away, when I see him launch himself into the basket. Princess is right there so I bend down to pick up the Mayonnaise, the real stuff is on the bottom shelf of course. I see her feet running back and forth and momtuition tells me something is about to go very wrong. I look up in time to see Monkey reach for her and FLIP flip F L I P out of the cart. He landed on his forehead and his body flipped over his head. People. Time Stopped. I thought he had broken his neck. I ran to him and he was screaming to bring the house down. Managers and Employees came running, forms were filled out, ice packs applied, juice boxes offered… I just sat on the floor and rocked my screaming child on the floor of the salad dressing aisle (are we starting to see a retail floor thing going with Monkey and me?) He had a goose egg the size of a golf ball all black, blue and red right under his hairline in the center of his forehead, a black eye and a bruise on his temple.. but he’s fine other than that. He was fussy for a couple of days, which I am attributing to an extremely sore neck. I spent the rest of that day comforting him and doing home neurological testing and not letting him sleep. Neither of us was happy at the end of the day. I thank God that nothing worse happened, and I pray that none of y’all see that sight. My heart stopped. I will be that woman that is going to pull out 42 carts in order to find one that will securely hold him in the seat and if people don’t like it. Well. Bite Me. ‘K’ But of course since I’m a Southern Belle, I’ll say it dripping with honey and with a smile pasted on my face y’all 🙂
Okay, that’s my Moon Jelly and Mayonnaise story. I have to go sand and prime some cabinets now. Hasta Y’all.

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  1. Oh my goodness… where do I start?

    Well, thanks for the jellyfish tip. I’ve seen that Friends episode, but I never knew that it’s more sterile. I just figure it was a better aiming thing… I better just pack baking soda next time I head to the beach.

    As for Monkey… poor baby! But he sounds like he’ll be fine, so whew! Kids are kids and things will happen. Did you call his pediatrician and have him/her put the incident on file? Just in case?

    When my daughter ran looking backwards in a strip mall, she hit the cement poll and fell backwards on the concrete floor and I literally saw her head bounce on the floor. Scariest thing ever. Even though she was fine, her pediatrician had me bring her in anyway.

    Have a safe weekend!

  2. I just got sick to my stomach thinking about the baby hitting that floor… Something similar happened to B when he was about N’s age and I’ve never forgotten that feeling of sheer terror.

    All parents of toddlers should carry some of those bungee cords with the little hooks on each end in their purses. Seriously. You can attach the little shits to anything.

  3. Thanks for the jellyfish info! I’ll remember that if I ever get to go to the beach.

    I’ve just recently let my boy start sitting in the cart seats. I’m glad I came across this story (even though I’m not glad your poor monkey fell–sad day!), so now I’ll be extra careful.

  4. My goodness woman! You always seem to get these double whammys!

    The good new is if I should ever go to Texas I’ll know where to find you. On the floor of a major retail chain. 😀

  5. OH HUGS HUGS HUGS to you!!

    I’ll bet you’ll be the mom reminder other parents to have their children sitting down and BUCKLED in those carts from now on, too! I SURE WOULD BE!!! I can only imagine how horrifying that must have been… HUGS again!

  6. Oh my gosh… first, I went from horrified to cheering for your daughter for being such a tough girl. And, then, I read about Monkey! My heart stopped too, and I had goosebumps while I waited for you to type that he was OK.

    By the way – I’m noticing that juice boxes and a great remedy in your family. hehe

  7. Oh sweetie, sweetie, sweetie!! I’m so glad Monkey is okay. That sounded just horrible!!

    You got to tell your kids to stop one upping each other. You could create a rock paper sissors like game with the accidents, injuries and illness your children seem to get one right after each other.

    Take care!

  8. I’m so glad to hear that both the Princess and Monkey are okay!
    I don’t know that I’d let anyone pee on me either.
    So, out of curiosity, do you keep a jar of men’s urine in your jelly kit?

  9. Wow…I am so glad that both of your babies are OK. How about you?

    I am usually fine during the crisis, but then I crumble afterwards.

  10. oh, poor little ones AND you!!!

    Hope this week is better and safer for you all…

    Blog Hoppin’

  11. Damn Woman! My heart stopped just reading about your baby’s head hitting that floor. That’s some scary shit!

    As for the jellyfish, I did see the Friends episode and I’m with Princess. I think I’d suffer before someone peed on me.

    Glad they’re both okay.

  12. Ugh……..jellyfish suck.
    And, my baby also fell out of an un-secure cart. Blood was involved. It was not pretty! I hope both kids are feeling great now.
    xoxo to them!

  13. Oh. My. God. Yanno, reading about the jellyfish, I thought, really that’s enough for one post. But to then read about poor Monkey. Damn. Kinda made that jellyfish story not so big a deal. AND JELLYFISH STINGS ARE A VERY BIG DEAL.

    Hope there was ice cream on the ride home.

    Ouch, ouch, ouch.

  14. We live near the beach too, my son was stung several years ago… for stings, the best thing I’ve heard about is meat tenderizer (like Adolph’s) made into a paste with sea water. That and Benadryl… Hope she is doing better. Those stings hurt like crazy!

    I can’t imagine what you and Monkey went through after his fall. Glad to hear he’s doing okay.

  15. Holy buckets! What a time you & your poor kiddos had! Your little lady & her leg – OUCH! And your Monkey – man, that could have happened to each and every one of us! I promise to buckle my Lulu in next time!!!
    Stay safe!

  16. Oh holy crap, woman! That is scary stuff! All of it!
    The jellyfish thing freaked me out! I can’t believe that she just decided to to eat instead of treat it. What a toughie!!
    And the shopping cart? That is my nightmare. For some reason even when my boy is strapped in I’m paranoid he’ll flip out. Ack!
    I’m so glad he is okay. That must have just been so scary.
    Just to let you know I gave my youngest a fat lip with my butt this morning. Yep. I’m a great mom!

  17. That sounds so scary (Monkey)–your heart must have flipped out of your body!
    I have that same drippin’ with honey tone on occasion–the hubby knows it well 😉

  18. Oh man! My 5 year old monkey boy, Grant climbed INTO the seat of the cart the other day when I was a few feet away. I know I shouldn’t leave him unattended when in the cart, but I thought being a few feet away when he was OUT of the cart wasn’t a problem.


  19. I hope little Monkey is feeling better.. I was literally holding my breath reading the part where he flipped himself out..

    After reading your fall post and now this. I hope that this week brings a little more smiles to you. xoxoxo

  20. Gracie did the same thing off our couch. I seriously thought she had broken her neck. It was the scariest mom moment yet… My doctor says they are super flexible. If that had happened to me, I would have been in traction for a month. I am glad all is well! See you guys soon! Oh and I am finally sending you an email response!

  21. Sounds like a rough couple of days! Poor kiddos. And then poor you. I say you all camp out on the couch for a while – perhaps wrapped in bubble wrap and feet touching the floor at all times – until this bad twist of karma moves on, whaddya say?

  22. Every time I ever took the boys out of school to play hookey and go to the beach, one of us ended up getting stung. I think God was telling us to QUIT CHEATING! LOL! Glad your kids survived the ordeal.

  23. I totally understand the jelly thing. We always had meat tenderizer on hand at the beach house. Ouch.

    And, My son had a goose egg like that from falling off the bar. I understand the terror. I hope he’s better.

    I’m going to “re” link to you via bloglines. Your feeds are not hitting me at all.

  24. Those stories scare me so much that even when I knew the ending, just reading still scared me! That happened to my boy once (something similar) and my first feeling was sheer terror and a voice saying in my head “you broke him”. Makes me all pukey thinking of it… SO glad all your children are safe and sound, albeit a little battered up.

  25. I call my daughter a Monkey too!
    At age 10 months, she started to climb and by age 15 months had been to the ER 3 times! From that age to 24 months, I NEVER let her down – I was a freak about it! But I was so afraid she would break her neck. She is still a monkey at age 4, and still fearless, but listens better (well, sometimes).
    Come visit me: Teresa

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