Dad jokes: they’re eye-roll-worthy, groan-inducing, and somehow, impossibly, absolutely hilarious. No matter how predictable or corny they are, there’s just something special about the way dads deliver them that only a dad can nail. Maybe it’s the signature smirk and the twinkle in their eyes, waiting for the inevitable sigh from the audience.
But if we’re being honest. We (secretly) love them.
So, in honor of all the dads out there perfecting their craft, we’ve compiled a list of the best dad jokes of all time—ranked! Prepare yourself for puns, cheesy one-liners, and jokes so bad, they’re good.
10. The Classic Starter Pack
We’ve all heard these tried-and-true dad jokes. They’re the ones that get passed down from generation to generation. They might not be the most original, but they’re a must-have in any dad’s joke toolbox. You can expect these to come out at BBQs, family game nights, or anytime there’s an awkward silence.
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Because they don’t have the guts.”
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
“Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.”
9. The “Wait for It” Jokes
Timing is everything when it comes to dad jokes. These slow-burners are some of the best. It’s the pause before the punchline that really sells them, and dads are the masters of that comedic suspense.
“I only know 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know Y.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine now, he woke up.”
“I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
8. The Dad Joke That Turns into a Lecture
One thing about dads, they love a lecture. They’ll take any moment to sneak in a life lesson even in their jokes. It’s like they’re tricking us into wisdom. And let’s not forget the ultimate dad flex—explaining the joke right after telling it, just in case anyone “didn’t get it.”
“Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky—it was a soft drink.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
7. The Groan-Worthy Puns
Dad jokes and puns go together like cargo shorts and grilling. Painfully punny? Absolutely. But we wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
“What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
6. The Grocery Store Special
Every dad turns into a stand-up comedian the second they step into a grocery store. This is peak dad behavior, and honestly, we kind of admire it.
Cashier: ‘Would you like your milk in a bag?’
Dad: ‘No thanks, just leave it in the carton.’
Cashier: ‘Do you need any help carrying this out?’
Dad: ‘Nah, I think I got it. But my back might disagree later.’
5. The Dad Joke That’s Basically a Ritual
There are some jokes dads just have to tell. It’s in the Dad Code. Dads are nothing if not consistent.
Every time the thermostat is touched: “Who touched the thermostat?”
Every time it rains: “Guess we needed the rain!”
When someone leaves the door open: “We’re not heating the whole neighborhood!”
When someone comments on the heat: “It’s not the heat that gets you. It’s the humidity.”
When someone says they need the toilet: “Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat!”
4. The ‘I’m Not Sleeping’ Jokes
Dads will NEVER admit they’re falling asleep, even when they obviously are.
“I wasn’t sleeping, I was just resting my eyes.”
“I saw that whole episode! Just tell me what happened.”
Every dad has said this at least once, and we’ve all learned to just let them have it.
3. The Restaurant Dad Joke
You know it’s coming. Every time.
Waiter: ‘Enjoy your meal!’
Dad: ‘Thanks, you too!’
Waiter: ‘How would you like your steak?’
Dad: ‘On a plate.’
2. The Ultimate Dad Joke
Dad’s just cannot resist this one.
Kid: ‘Dad, I’m hungry.’
Dad: ‘Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.’
1. The Holiday Exclusives
Dad jokes hit differently during the holidays, and Father’s Day is no exception.
Christmas: “I told my wife I was getting her a fridge for Christmas. When she asked why, I said, ‘Because it’s cool.’”
Thanksgiving: “You know what I’m thankful for? That I don’t have to carve this turkey.”
Father’s Day: “Being a dad is a lot like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how to do it, but we try our best.”
If you need a gift that matches the humor level of your dad’s best material, check out their funny Father’s Day gifts for the ultimate dad-approved present.
Final Thoughts
Dad jokes are an art form we all learn to appreciate eventually. Whether they make us laugh, cringe, or shake our heads, they’re a dad’s way of making life just a little more fun.
